Guys: dating now equals serious committment

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.The age-old question of what men and women want in the hectic world of dating always seems to linger in the air, especially in the social scene of a collegian.

So men, here is your chance to set the record straight. Of course, answers varied between each guy, but several conclusions could be made. Ladies, pay attention. I hope this will help solve some of your frustrations.

What is the college guy looking for?

Men and women are all unique and always looking for different things in life. Sometimes people don’t even really know what they want themselves.

What is the collegiate male looking for in the dating arena?

I’m not asking this in reference to the five-year plan or the future trophy wife, but what guys want now. Young women always have their predictions on this question, but it may not be as simple as some assume.

“It’s the same thing as girls,” said Jake Thompson, a senior advertising/ public relations major. “Each one wants something different, it all depends on their history with the opposite sex, as well as their goals in life and what they want out of a (relationship).”

Brady Bishop, a senior management science major at SMU, said he looks for a good friend rather than seeking a relationship.

“Every relationship I’ve ever had started from friendship,” Bishop said. “If (a relationship) is going to happen, it will; if not, who cares; we’re still young.”

The description several guys gave, including senior advertising/ public relations major Nick Bendian, was also a more casual outlook on dating.

“Right now, guys want an attractive, fun girl that will be fun to be with alone, but more importantly can hang out in a big group and doesn’t have to be at your side the entire time,” Bendian, a photojournalist at The Skiff, said. “Guys like their space.”

What is the college guy really looking for on a Friday night?

Apparently, the consensus for what these men want is rather different from what they admit to their friends they are on the prowl for each weekend.

Eddie Chen, a senior electrical engineering major at SMU, said bluntly, “We like to get drunk with our buds, and when the time is right, snuggle up with a loving woman.”

Although guys said many are just looking for a good night out with friends, they admitted most guys are looking for some type of “hookup.”

“Truthfully, when guys go out on weekends they are probably looking to find a cool girl to either flirt with or hook up with,” said Rhett Heartsill, a sophomore geology major.

When it comes down to a relaxing weekend off from the usual stress of the week, the difference for guys and girls may be what they consider a fun night out.

“Sometimes when guys go out, all they’re looking for is some fun – maybe a make-out (session), maybe a one-night stand,” Thompson said.

Ladies, pay attention to this. We try to rationalize men and understand why they do things the way they do, but maybe some intentions are just that straight forward.

Eric Snover, a senior economics major at SMU, said, “I want to get drunk with friends, then hook up. What else would we want? A stimulating conversation?”

Bendian said he agreed many guys think this way, but he stated that not all guys do.

“Most guys look to find a girl that he can ‘hook up’ with at the end of the night, but there are a lot of guys that just look to have fun and meet new people, dance, drink and eat fast food late in the night,” Bendian said.

Eric Staron, a senior math major at Notre Dame, said he is not dating now because he doesn’t have the time or energy for a girlfriend, but he said that a lot of guys are just looking for the hookup.

“Yes, they’re looking for the hookup, especially when they are drunk,” Staron said. “Actually, pretty much always when they are drunk.”

And the chances of a women actually receiving a call the next day?

Staron said he predicted a 0.1 percent chance a girl would get a call the day after a drunken party hookup.

What type of women are guys on the lookout for?

“I look for a sense of humor, self-esteem and just right amount of wild streak,” Hunter said.

After several interviews, guys concluded that confidence, along with other features stemming from this, was the most appealing characteristic.

“I like a cute, down-to-earth girl,” Bishop said. “When I see girls in high heels walking to class or at football games, I usually laugh. But a nice-looking girl that isn’t ashamed to wear a pair of sweat pants will turn my head.”

A girl with confidence is comfortable in her own skin and can appreciate a guy who can likewise have a good time on his own and with his friends.

“If I see a girl out and having an incredible time with her friends, that’s a major turn-on and I’ll probably approach her,” Bishop said. “But a girl who can approach a guy is always a plus too. Guys like confidence just as much as girls do.”

Along with confidence, many guys appreciated an independent women.

“I want a girl who doesn’t require attention – someone who doesn’t mind giving me up for a night with the guys,” said Colin Hunter, a senior political science major.

Heartsill said on occasion, girls do demand a lot, and in return, push guys away from wanting a serious relationship.

“I, myself, am afraid of a serious relationship at this time because girls seem to become really possessive, such as stealing you from your friends or getting mad if you talk to other girls as friends at the bar or parties,” Heartsill said.

What happened to a good ol’ date night?

Women complain and whine about why guys don’t ask them out, but maybe this time it really isn’t their fault.

“There is no such thing as ‘dating’ in today’s world. It’s either a relationship or not,” Heartsill said.

He and other guys said they felt that a simple date had a serious connotation now.

“I think it would be cool if I could have a different date each night of the week – no hooking up,” Heartsill said. “If I took different girls out in one week, everybody would assume we hooked up.”

Most guys said they would date more but they are scared of jumping into a relationship.

“Guys do want to date but are often scared of the implications of actually dating someone,” Bendian said. “No longer can two people go out on a date and it just be a date. If you go on a date with someone, then you are automatically dating, which everyone perceives as, ‘you are together.'”

And what have we learned today?

Believe me, I’ve had my days of guy-bashing and complaining about them, but I figured I’d give them a chance. What have I discovered? Guys aren’t all bad, and as a matter of fact, there are plenty of really good ones (including the guys who were brave enough to be interviewed for this).

“There are a ton of great guys and girls at TCU. It just seems sad that neither side can match up for fear of getting hurt by the other or a misread of communication of both parts,” Thompson said.

How can ladies find the good ones? Demand more – of guys and ourselves. Whether it is as friends, a hookup or a relationship, guys say they want a confident, independent, easygoing women. So ladies, it’s time to start demanding the same of ourselves.