Review: New Kids on the Block should stay in the 90s

I received the New Kids on the Block’s “Merry, Merry Christmas” album in the sixth grade from a boy named Paul, accompanied by a heart-shaped rock he found on the playground. Embarrassed, because Paul was not considered “cool,” I begrudgingly took the tape and committed it to memory. I never thought much of who the New Kids on the Block really were, or what message they were trying to convey. I simply hung their posters in my room and wished that Jonathan or Jordan would seek me out and profess his undying love.

Today I listened to NKOTB’s comeback album and I wondered if time stood still. Does this group of middle-aged men not realize that there might be something off with their game if nearly 15 years later they are still dedicating every lyric begging one girl or another for her attention?

I don’t know, but could their flaws lie in the fact that they refer to women as “girl,” “baby” and “shorty?” Or maybe their multitude of offers to do things like “hurt ya if you like it and then I’ll twist it for ya,” or comparing women to cars (a favorite pastime for many out there) such as, “I lift the hood and look up under. . .I’ll fill you up, up If you wanna get some I’ll pump you up, up ’cause I got the premium.”

I could go on all day filling this page with ludicrous, misogynistic labels and suggestions the NKOTB give to women in their new album “The Block.” Not one song strays from the ever popular subject of objectifying women and begging them for physical pleasure.

I realize this approach is not unique to this particular group; however, I feel that if you’re going to try and make a comeback from a legacy that was questionable to begin with, then you might want to start with something new, something fresh, something, well, enjoyable. We have plenty of options out there when we make the decision to what we shake our bodies to when we feel like dancing. The New Kids on the Block did a horrible job convincing me that their album is the one I should choose.

Word to the wise: There is a lot of great music out there and this album is not among that genre. If you want a good beat that you can get down to, or a love song you can relate to, go elsewhere and let this “has-been” boy band die out like they should.