OK, OK. I’ll admit it. I’m not really Dr. Love. But I can say for a fact that I do know a thing or two about relationships. And while I don’t claim to be all-knowing when it comes to these subjects, I’ve noticed during my time at TCU there are some obvious rules about relationships that simply shouldn’t be ignored, but on many occasions, they are. Some of these rules are based on my experience first hand, while other pieces of advice are based on what I’ve observed. Some of these guidelines I’ll share with you apply only to women, some will apply to only men, and some will apply to both sexes.

So before calling that girl about a date Friday night, sit back and read a few of these tips, and you might pick up a thing or two that can help you out in “The Game of Love.”

First off, GUYS: If you go on a first date, always offer to pay. This rule may seem obvious to many, but, somehow, there are guys who were never taught it. So unless you’re homeless and destitute (which, if you’re reading this article, you’re probably not), and unless she has money to burn like Paris Hilton, then you should pay the bill. Even if she is Paris Hilton-like, in finances, not personality, then you should still offer to pay out of courtesy.

The common rule of thumb is, if you’re the one inviting, then you should be the one to pay. However, a true gentleman will offer to pay, even if he was the one invited. If you’re tight on cash, borrow a few bucks from a friend or plan an inexpensive date at a coffeehouse or Potbelly. While a polite girl might offer to pay for her part, you’ll make a good impression if you pay her portion as well.

Second rule, GUYS: So the date is over now, and you’re walking her back to her door. Your palms begin to sweat, and your breathing quickens. This piece of advice must be said: unless the girl initiates it, no French-kissing on the first date. The date may have gone great, but a bad kiss can ruin the whole night.

Many times a kiss on the cheek can go a lot further than a five-second game of tonsil hockey. But if you do go for the lips, keep your mouth closed. It leaves more to the imagination and may even increase your chances of a second date.

Now that I’ve finished ragging on the guys, LADIES: You just got asked out by this cute guy, and you immediately begin picturing what your name might sound like with his last name attached, you know, if he were “The One.” But halfway through the date, you realize he’s the “Last One” you’d ever want to be with after he tells you, “I’m just looking for someone that can cook and clean real good, you know, kinda’ like my mom.”

You make it through the date, however, at the end of the night, he casually asks if you want to go out again sometime. This portion of the date would be the point where you could use the old slogan from the drug campaign and “Just say no.”

Don’t say, “Sure, just call me,” if you’re not interested and hope that he forgets or decides not to call you. Because when he does call you, you’ll probably ignore his phone calls, hoping he’ll get the message.

He probably eventually will, but unfortunately – I’ll be the first to admit it – we guys are kind of slow (OK, maybe really slow) when it comes to women. First, he’ll probably think you were really busy that day, so he’ll call again. By the time he does get the hint, he probably would’ve told all of his close friends how he now thinks you’re a… well, let’s just say it wouldn’t have been as nice as if you had just told him up front you weren’t interested. This will save the guy wasted cell phone minutes and the girl wasted time ignoring those phone calls.

Well that’s all for part one of this article. Stay tuned next Wednesday for part two, when we look more at long-term relationships: till next time.

Glenton Richards is a senior radio-TV-film major from Carrollton.