Another Friday is upon us, and the weekend is sure to bring its fair share of fun. The party scene at TCU is nothing short of spectacular, but among the various forms of shindigs we throw, there is one that I cannot even begin to understand.Keggers? I can see the motive. Fraternity mixers? Great way to meet new people. But somewhere along the line, someone came up with the “wonderful” concept of the “Pimps ‘n’ Hos” party.

It’s true, apparently ultimate Frisbee and football games weren’t enough of a diversion for a certain group of college students. So they asked themselves, “What better way to have fun than to imitate crack-addicted pimps and the syphilitic hookers they push?”

Lately, the focus of these parties has shifted from the poverty-stricken streetwalkers to the upper-class lustful individual. “Golf Pros and Tennis Hos” or “CEOs and Corporate Hos” are just a few of the monikers these parties have come to be known by. Apparently, some kid realized America’s college students weren’t exactly destined to end up living in the ghetto, so shifting to a more suburban theme was deemed appropriate.

That’s just great. Who better to emulate than the corrupt businessman and his little “skank on the side” from the office? You know, the kind of people who buy Corvettes and yachts in order to give meaning to their empty lives. The kind that hide their lust and moral depravity behind a well-manicured lawn and a three-car garage. The kind some among us might end up being. I’m glad to see we all have our sights set so high.

Let’s examine the motives behind attending such parties. First, let’s examine the gentlemen. I guess some guys get tired of chasing worthwhile women and just want to score with scantily dressed “hos.” You know, some of those women are probably single and easy for a reason. In order to avoid clingy hook-ups and a burning sensation “down there,” you best stay away from them.

As far as assuming the role of a pimp, I have this to say: you wish. The only time in your life when you’ll have girls tugging at your pants and screaming for more will be when your daughter’s friends want more cake and juice at her 5th birthday party.

Now it’s time for the women. I personally see no redeeming factor for females to attend these types of parties. Look, if I walked up to you and called you a “ho,” I’d probably be slapped before the word even finished rolling off of my tongue. If there’s one thing women don’t want to be or are overly cautious of being perceived as, it’s a harlot. Why then, is it OK to pretend to be one on the weekends?

Also, certain women are constantly complaining that guys view them as sex objects. Hmmm, I wonder why that is … maybe it’s because you parade around in short skirts and skimpy underwear at these parties? Seems pretty obvious to me.

OK, maybe you think this David Hall individual needs to be kidney punched for raining on your “Pimps ‘n’ Hos” parade. In that case, I’m usually in the library from 11 a.m. to noon on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Appointments for beatings aside, it’s always best to think about what your activities say about you. Are you a dignified partier, or someone who likes to imitate the filthiest individuals in our society? Think about it.

David Hall is a freshman news-editorial journalism major from Kingwood. His column appears every Tuesday and Friday.