Hubba Hubba! Flex those muscles and raise those water bottles high because, according to Men’s Fitness magazine, TCU is currently rated the eighth fittest campus in the nation.Good? Sure. But could we do better? Definitely.

According to the report, TCU received an A- for sleep and exercise, an A+ for gym hours, and a B for overall culture of fitness.

Our downfall? Unhealthy habits. We received a C- in consumption of tobacco, alcohol and fast food. However, when one applies a little common sense, it’s a relatively easy problem to fix.

Let’s start with smoking. Back in high school, the only people who smoked were the “Goths.” You know, those people who wore an all-black ensemble to school every day just to be “different.” They loved to loiter in their little corner of the cafeteria and talk about how all the other kids were “mindless conformists.” They were also fond of giving you the death sneer when you asked to borrow a pencil.

Now, smoking seems to transcend all social and ethnic boundaries. Whether you’re white or black, Greek or non-Greek, everybody on campus either smokes or knows someone who does.

It’s time to face the facts: Smoking is gross. Not only do smokers show up to class smelling like a dumpster full of moldy sandwiches, but they’re taking years off of their lives. It’s time to kick the habit and get the heck out of Marlboro country.

People I know have told me time and time again they would like to quit (like all smokers do), but they think it’s too expensive for “poor” college student to afford a regimen such as the patch. That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. Look, if you can afford thousands of dollars a year for fraternity or sorority expenses or you can fill up your car every weekend and visit friends in Austin or College Station, you can afford the patch. Trust me, a couple hundred bucks now is a lot better than paying thousands upon thousands of dollars later for cancer treatments.

I also realize there is a certain percentage of smokers on campus who have tried to hide the fact from their parents. In addition, these kids are as broke as M.C. Hammer. These students want to quit, but are afraid of asking Mom and Dad for the patch, lest they get an oh-so-agonizing “I-told-you-so” lecture.

To that select group, I have this to say: Your parents already know you smoke. They’re not stupid. They became wise to your little scheme the first time you came back home. How so? Well, if the stinky clothes and sudden urges to take your little brother to play basketball at the local elementary school every two hours aren’t a dead giveaway, I don’t know what is. I’m sure they would be more than happy to give you all the money you need in order to conquer this deadly habit.

With a little frugality or a plea for help, we can help smoking become a much less common practice at TCU. The benefit? Healthier lungs and longer lives for everyone. Plus, it would help us come closer to being the fittest school in the nation, and who doesn’t want to be No. 1? I’ll be examining the controversial subject of alcohol Friday as the second leg of my three part series on improving campus health. What’s my take? Pick up the Skiff and find out.

David Hall is a freshman news-editorial journalism major from Kingwood. His column appears every Tuesday and Friday.