Fairy tales tell girls to wait for their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet. However, a recent trend reveals that young women would rather “hook up” than pursue and maintain a long-term relationship. According to the March 16 ABC News article, “Searching for Mr. Right Now,” 23-year-old Evi Lalangas says, “(Hooking up) means there’s no emotional element. We hooked up, I’m physically satisfied, and I went on my way.”
“Hooking up” can span from kissing to having sex with a complete stranger.
Laura Sessions Stepp, a reporter from The Washington Post, describes the potential danger of these flippant, short-term relationships on young women in her book, “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both.” She argues that the media broadcast this trend to high school and college students constantly in television shows such as MTV’s “Laguna Beach” or “Girls Gone Wild” and in doing so are setting the wrong example.
Former director of women’s studies and political science associate professor, Joanne Green, said it is sexist to judge the women who “hook up” and not their male partners. After all, when men move from woman to woman, they are called “studs,” while the female equivalent receives a not-so-flattering name. Why aren’t men judged in the same way? It is not fair to praise one and criticize the other. Gender stereotypes must be broken down. Men and women deserve to be treated with respect and not as tools for satisfying desires.
Before judging these women who refrain from long-term relationships, we have to look at the possible reasons behind their actions. Women today are more concerned with achieving successful careers than settling down and starting a family. They feel free to do what they want to do and push marriage to the back of their minds. There is less pressure for women to get married right away because it is finally acceptable for women to be independent. Staying focused on getting that dream job is admirable.
“I think women are getting tired of the double standard,” Green says. “They have needs and desires, and they’re going to fulfill them. Feminism encourages women to respect themselves and frees men and women of social constraints.”
Of course, this does not mean that having these one-time encounters with multiple partners come without consequences. Stepp says that women who practice “hooking up” are not necessarily “emotionally detached” as they claim to be and are left with emotional scars that can affect future relationships.
In addition, there are physical risks of contracting diseases or getting pregnant.
There is no rush for young women or men to get married right away; it is perfectly fine to play the field. But it is vital that we make good decisions and be responsible for our actions. “Hooking up” may be fun for a while, but are we willing to take those physical and emotional risks? It is great for women to feel strong and confident in themselves, but if they aren’t careful, they will suffer the consequences.
We do not always need immediate satisfaction; it might not always be worth the effort. In any case, there is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, willing to wait for a true, long-lasting love.
Alyssa Dizon is a sophomore broadcast journalism major from Aiea, HI.
