Image magazine commentary: Nothing wrong with race to the altar

This column appeared in the Winter 2007 issue of Image magazine. For the full issue, visit more:
Morgan Blunk’s column from Image magazine
Morgan Blunk: Image column intended to be satire, not serious commentary
JoHannah Hamilton: Finding spouse not sole purpose of getting college education
Letter to the editor: Column pushes outdated generalizations of women

I guarantee there’s not a female at TCU who hasn’t thought about who they’re going to marry, where the wedding will be, what the dress is going to look like and who the bridesmaids will be (this obviously changes weekly). Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I know there’s a lot of pressure on you gentlemen in relationships. You probably have an aneurysm every time your girlfriend brings up the dreaded future. But I find myself constantly asking: When did it become so taboo to get married?

Last time I looked around, 99.99 percent of TCU students were legal adults, and about half of that number (maybe more) are in what he or she would call a committed relationship. So here’s my logical textbook response – try to follow. According to the bare-bones definition of the word “commit,” expression is required. And how do people “express” themselves when they’re in a relationship? Through love. So what should two people who love each other logically do? Get married.

Whether or not they’ll admit it, most TCU females are dying to get married. To be perfectly honest, we have all called – and in some cases already booked – the TCU chapel for approximately one year after graduation. June is the busiest month. February is for the girls who call too late.

Don’t succumb to our independent facades either – we’re just covering up our M.R.S. degrees with fashion, journalism, design and the occasional business degree (stupid overachievers).

We’d much rather be coy and bat our eyelashes than have to work so hard getting a degree that’s sole purpose is to collect dust in the basement of our perfectly furnished homes.

My gender is no doubt hating on me right now for giving away those slumber-party secrets. Come on gals, you’ll be thanking me when there’s a huge rock on your finger.

And don’t get all feminist on me, shrug your shoulders in a huff and act as though these things aren’t true. Women need to embrace being women and this is the perfect opportunity to shine. Frankly, I’m appalled that some of you think you’re more comfortable in a power suit! Give me a break and get to a boutique already. It’s our nature to be feminine and to desire a man we can take care of. So stop burning your bras and start searching for an apron.

And men, here are some words of wisdom for you: You’re in love with her, she’s already got it planned and the chapel is booked. Just propose already.