Women should speak honestly

Heather Mayer is a feature writer for College News, a Web site just for college students and what matters to them. Last Friday, she wrote an incredibly interesting article titled, “Girl Translator – What Girls Really Mean,” that I encourage every girl to read for pure comic relief from their stressful lives and every guy to read for the truth.

Mayer breaks the article up into responses from single girls, girls with excuses and girls in relationships.

“I just want to take things slow,” she said, means “I’m convinced you are going to rip my heart out of my chest and play hacky sack with it, so I can’t get too involved because I can’t trust you as far as I can throw you.”

I have to admit, I haven’t been single for a while, but I remember those days like they were yesterday, and I have to laugh at the truth in her translation.

Girls, let’s work on a little more truth in our words. Guys are supposed to be the tough ones, they can take it. Plus, the faster we break the news, the sooner they’ll back off!

Guys, when girls use a line like this on you, let her know that you want more clarity. Don’t settle for ambiguity because it won’t be any clearer tomorrow than it was coming out of her mouth today.

You deserve to know the truth.

“I hate official titles for dating … we know what we are,” Mayer said, translates to, “I can’t make us ‘in a relationship’ because then the cute guy from environmental science won’t stalk me on Facebook.”

I was impressed that she used Facebook as part of her translation, because so many of us care so much about what our profiles on Web sites like Facebook say, that we are hesitant to change our relationship status for fear of what people will say or ask.

In one last example Mayer states that the words, “I don’t want to talk about it,” means, “please, for the love of God, ask me to tell you more about it so I know that you are interested in my mind, not just my body.”

This one didn’t really make me laugh, because it hit home. I’m always thinking that guys only care about what they see, not what they hear. They don’t care how intelligent I am or what I’m studying in school or even if I have any siblings. Right?

Actually, I’ve found that the guys worth dating do care about those things and will ask you to give your opinion frequently. Girls, if you have to test your man by saying “I don’t want to talk about it” in hopes of getting him to give you the right response, maybe you should rethink your relationship.

Guys shouldn’t be tested because they will rarely ever give you the response you are looking for. They aren’t inside of our heads and they don’t know what we want. That is why they read articles like Heather Mayer’s, they want to understand us.

The truth is that women will never understand men, and men will never understand women, and I think it’s best we don’t test the other gender. If we have something to say, or we feel a certain way or we want something, then we should come out and say it. What every person has to say is important.

Let’s all work on speaking when we feel as though we have something important to say, and stop using hidden meanings to convey our true feelings.

Marissa Warms is a senior advertising/public relations major from Irving.