If you’re like me, then you forgot it was Super Bowl Sunday until about two hours before kickoff. I didn’t really care who won. There were no records on the line, and I’m a broke college kid too poor to host a party.

But the Super Bowl is the most-watched program every year because it provides something for just about everyone. There’s football for football fans, commercials for comedy fans and Madonna for, well, people with bad taste in music. The top five Super Bowl commercials, according to yours truly, are as follows:

5) Pepsi

Before I kick off my countdown, I should disclose that anything featuring Sir Elton John has an immediate advantage over lesser stars such as Matthew Broderick, Mark Cuban or John Stamos. X-Factor winner Melanie Amaro breaks glass (literally) when she roars Aretha Franklin’s anthem, “Respect,” to convince Elton to give her some Pepsi. Flavor Flav gets the punch line in this one, sporting his signature grill and clock and a not-so-signature horned helmet, but I like the look. Costume designer? Elton John. OK, I made that up. But would it surprise you?

4) Doritos

Nacho cheese tortilla chips made a late entrance in this year’s Super Bowl, but the ad was well worth my anticipation. A cat-killing dog bribes his owner to keep quiet by giving him a bag of Doritos. What isn’t funny about that? There are less tasty bribes to accept. Like Dannon Oikos.

3) Chevrolet

Chevy ran three ads in this year’s Super Bowl. The ad for the new Sonic model was not good, but I will definitely give it a “cool” rating. It marks the first time I’ve seen a car bungee jump, so that’s worth a mention. In another ad, the company shows a recent graduate who thinks his parents bought him a Camaro when they really bought him a mini refrigerator. I can relate to his disappointment when Mr. Johnson drives off with his dream car. The company also suggested that its Silverado truck would make it through the impending Mayan-predicted apocalypse. Clever, Chevy.

2) E*TRADE

In 2008, the last time the Giants and Patriots met in a Super Bowl, the online stockbroker unveiled its new spokesperson — the “E*TRADE Baby.” Ad agency Grey New York originally expected the “spokesbaby” to be a one-time thing, but the next day, E*TRADE registered more accounts than on any other day in company history. The campaign has been a benchmark for memorable advertising in the four years since, and the company set the bar higher this year with its ad, “Fatherhood.” I won’t give away the punch line.

1) Chrysler

With a 30-second spot going for an average $3.5 million, it may be surprising that bailout beneficiary Chrysler Group LLC can afford a two-minute Super Bowl ad. But I must say, this commercial is the best use of tax dollars I’ve ever seen. Clint Eastwood gives what might be the best performance of his stellar career, and you can’t help but feel hopeful after watching it. It might have brought me to tears if I weren’t still laughing at Madonna’s halftime performance.

David Shaver is a sophomore journalism major from Canyon.